Concerns Of A Parent With Texting

A recent Pew Survey revealed that many teenagers between the ages of 16 and 17 are texting behind the wheel. As a matter of fact, the indications from an 800 person survey were about one third! For more information on this report by Amanda Lenhart, see the article on MSN.

Some of the concerns expressed in the article relate the fact that a person texting behind the wheel, regardless of age, is comparable to a drunk in terms of response to outside factors such as a car in front applying its brakes. To add worry, about 48% of teens between the ages of 12 to 17 have been in the car with someone texting. Their take on this activity ranges from worrisome to blasé--some are not phased by it and others will grab the phone from the driver and yell at that person until the driver clearly understands that the passenger has the fullest intent of arriving at the destination ALIVE.

I have a son who recently started driving. He also has texting available to him on his phone. When he sits around the house, it is like living the cartoon strip Zits. He is non-communicative while he engages his textees. Fortunately, I am under the impression that he has enough intelligence AND smarts NOT to text while behind the wheel. Needless to say, if I were to catch him in the act, I would ground him from numerous activities which he holds dear.

You Can Stop Them

If your children seem prone to text and unlikely to study, you CAN take control of the situation without having to remove the phone from their hands. It's as simple as a call to your carrier. Did you know that you can have texting BLOCKED on some or all phones within most plans? That's right, you are empowered as the parent to restrict their communications and be the ogre that they say you are (only when they want something that you say they can't have). Consider it an act of kindness and love.

If the concern of your children (or your significant other) texting while driving isn't enough, there is "Sexting." That's right, another portmanteau for the modern world--obviously, the word combines the word SEX with TEXTING and, voila, you have "Sexting." The word was coined by the Sunday Telegraph Magazine back in 2005. Wikipedia describes the word as follows:

Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones.

Is Sexting limited to teens? Heck, no! People of all ages participate in it. Why there is another survey from the Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project found that 4% of cell-owning teens ages 12-17 say they have sent sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude images or videos of themselves to someone else via text messaging, a practice also known as “sexting”; 15% say they have received such images of someone they know via text message.
Focus group findings show that sexting occurs most often in one of three scenarios:

1. Exchanges of images solely between two romantic partners


2. Exchanges between partners that are then shared outside the relationship


3. Exchanges between people who are not yet in a relationship, but where often one person hopes to be.

Again, Senior Researcher Specialist and author of the report, Amanda Lenhart points out that “These images are shared as a part of or instead of sexual activity, or as a way of starting or maintaining a relationship with a significant other. And they are also passed along to friends for their entertainment value, as a joke or for fun.”

In many instances, it's the peer pressure and social distortion that has children messaging images and videos of themselves. Some feel they won't be accepted by their friends, some say it's a non-issue. But the fact is that some children after acting impulsively end up regretting it for longer than they could have anticipated. In one case, a girl in catholic school sent a picture to her boyfriend. He, in turn, circulated it throughout his school. It ended up manifesting itself before the school's leadership which then processed her behaviorial problem with extreme response. The girl had to leave the school and has acquired a stigma similar to Hester Prynne (The Scarlet Letter) without having committed such a "heinous crime."

What can you do to prevent this?

I am a parent, but in no way fully accredited to answer this question. My approach would be to discuss the use of texting/sexting with my child. You may not be aware that your child is doing this, so approach gently and be firm when communicating your concern. If you strongly believe that this is happening, you may wish to discuss it with a school counselor to have a general presentation for all in the grade to learn. It's more discreet and less embarassing. It is so important for you to have open lines of communication with your teens (and all your children). You need to inform them and make them aware of the potential risks inherent in use of cell phones (with built-in cameras), issues of privacy, bullying, and personal space. It is also valuable to share with them the concerns of peer pressure and how to contend with it. If you work for a sizable employer, they may have literature available for you through Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) or you may find assistance at your house of worship.

Remember, you want to protect your child(ren) by giving them the assurance that they may come to you to discuss these matters without the worry of reproach or punishment. It is better to embrace your child than to chase your child. If you feel that this was a valuable article, please feel free to provide your feedback to me at fred@tech4now.com. If you wish to see any articles in the future on a particular subject, let us know and we'll do our best to provide content.